My Blog

Last morning, instead of the usual knock from my sis, (well she is my live alarm) I got woken up by the cooking of my mum. Can’t even begin to tell how great that kind of feeling was. Waking up to the smell of food can be such a luxury!

Back in the days at UK, I have to actually cook for 3 meals a days for 7 years. That, my friends, is a pain in the arse. It is either packing lunch box or buying crappy overprice sandwich on a jam pack queue. When night fall, the option available doesn’t get any better. The junk foods available are, Chinese take away, pizza, fish&chip or balti (Indian take away). Not only are they costly, far away if they dun do delivery or met the minimum purchase (no delivery mean going out on a freezing nite just to get food), but the standard and quality of the food will force you to rather waste 2 hours cooking then to live on those instant food. Cooking aint the hard part, but if you add in the washing up and stocking of raw material from market weekly, not to mention eating alone can really dampen once mood. Worse when the cooking turns far from edible, it can really ruin the day and bring the already staving, tired, low morale to new low level.

Now, those simple thing in life that was once taken for granted, are really treasure. Simple thing such as coming home and find food on the table can be such as pure delight. Thanks you mum.

Why do we work? So that
we get to collect more stuff and live from one pay check to the next? Most people
only have a few genuine interests and the rest are just filler. So if we don’t
work what else can we be doing? You can only play and have this much fun before
you get bore again and back to square one. Maybe that is just me.

Someone once told me this;
‘You crave a simple life, you desire it a lot, simply because you can’t have
it. Let face it, you are complicated.’ I enjoy the finer thing in life and rejoice
in it simplicity. Somehow I not content with it. Life has to be more then just about
getting what we want. Most people settle for a 9/5 job, family, a holiday once
a year, a house, a car, etc. Beside the humanly part, we still end up being a
collector.

Me? I want to treat each
day as the very first that I was born into. Everyday is as refreshing and full
of new discovery to be made. But in reality, it is more like SSDD, same shit
different day. I can’t help thinking of way out. How do we justify having lived
without having to resort to stuffs we acquired during our life time as a mean
of measurement? I rather it be judge by the experience that we been through.
But what are the chances that our life’s story be remotely interesting that
anyone will even care to look? You might say that we live for our own and not
for others, so why even care? The fact is I care, coz I always know one thing,
human are created ½ complete and that true happiness lies in sharing. What is
the point of working/ fighting so hard for something if u has no one to share
it with?

My path is a simple one,
find a soul mate and share our life and experience it together in whatever we
do every day. The only obstacle left in it way, is the money issue. It might be
troublesome but simple and straight forward to overcome. So other then that,
finding the so call one true soul mate in the only complicated part in life. I
guess if everything in life is so simple, where is the fun in living?

In life, sometime you win
sometime you lost and once you accept that, everything is simple. Of coz except
women, which are always as complicated as ever! After all, what more can be said
other then C’est la vie

The harder people try to be the opposite of their parents, the quicker they become them. Funny as it might sound, it is a fact. So I guess the only true way to be different is to accept the way they are and leave it at that. Be what you are without trying to be someone else.

Close my
eye and dream up of wonderful place with you in it,

Take a deep
breath and smell your scent carry on the wind,

Raise my
hand and feel your soft hair through my finger,

Listen to
the beating of your heart with each breath,

Taste the lingering
sweetness of your kiss,

Feel the warmth
when we cuddle,

Wholeness
being with you,

Miss you so…..

It seems to me that people have vast potential. Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don’t. They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever.

Love is really a
mystery thing. It never fails to amaze or surprise me. Every time I
thought I know so much about it, it just give me a flick and I am back
where I was, confused and lost. Last week, a girl told me that when it
comes to love, there is actually a certain threshold, gauge or
measurement to it. Well, not that you can put a number to it but it can
be classified into 2 categories.

First,
if she love you a lot, but not enough that she won’t turn tail and
leave the moment a better suitor come along or when shit hit the fence
in the relationship. There is no way of telling or knowing. Coz that
happens to married coupler too.   

For
the other love, it is the one that she love you so much that no matter
what or how much Bull Shit (BS) the guys throw at them, the girl will
always take stick with them. The guy might leave them for another girl
but later return when that new relationship doesn’t work out. Yet the
girl always let them back. Why coz they learn their lesson? LoL. Who
you trying to kid?

Once a girl fallen completely for a guy, you can be
amaze just how much BS the girl can endure in the name of love. Is it
because they become too dependent on they guys? Coz all girls like to
be protected, pamper and look after by guys that once they got so used
to it that renounce their ability to live alone? That they start
falling apart the moment that guy is no longer in their equation? Was
it
this fear that kept them in crappy relationship? Or just the longing
that thing used to be better and might be again? Normally the girl only
left when she broke down or the guy drop dead suddenly… haha tough luck on that
happenning..   

I
know all this coz I see it happening all the time around me and I did
play my part in such relationship before. Try as I might, I dun think I
am going to understand it, but one thing I do know is, if the girl is
willing to put up with so much BS in a relationship, she is definitely
one person that you can relied on and share your life with till old
age. The sad thing is most guy dun realise the love that they had till
thing turn so sour till the extended of no turning back.

Either my wisdom has
finally catch up with my age or just that I have recently develop a
skill to see the imprint left on people by their parent during their
childhood. I can’t help seeing the trait and screw up that made what or
who they are today.   

How does that Larkin poem go?
   

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.   
They fill you with the faults they had   
And add some extra, just for you.     

Well
unless I dun have any kids myself, I can’t help thinking that I
might just end up doing the same to my kid. That is if I do have any in
the future.   

One
known advice that I found very comforting is that never fight other
peoples’ battle on their behalf, even for a child. If they fall, let
them pick themselves up on their own. Let them develop their own
character. What we should do, is just be there to support and let
them know we are always there by their side and only help when it is
really necessary. Motivation and encouragement is sometime a better
solution then the actual cure.

Sweet and warming song... Most lovely song ever hear... And such a beautiful voice...

It is a crime not to share it...Like A StarBy Corinne Bailey Rae

Just like a star across my sky, 

Just like an angel off the page, 

You have appeared to my life, 

Feel like I'll never be the same, 

Just like a song in my heart, 

Just like oil on my hands, 

Oh.. I do love you, 

Still I wonder why it is, 

I don't argue like this, 

With anyone but you, 

We do it all the time, 

Blowing out my mind, 

You've got this look I can't describe, 

You make me feel like I'm alive, 

When everything else is a fade, 

Without a doubt you're on my side, 

Heaven has been away too long, 

Can't find the words to write this song, 

Oh.,.. 

Your love, 

Still I wonder why it is, 

I don't argue like this, 

With anyone but you, 

We do it all the time, 

Blowing out my mind, 

I have come to understand, 

The way it is, 

It's not a secret anymore, 

'cause we've been through that before, 

From tonight I know that you're the only one, 

I've been confused and in the dark, 

Now I understand, 

I wonder why it is, 

I don't argue like this, 

With anyone but you, 

I wonder why it is, 

I wont let my guard down, 

For anyone but you 

We do it all the time, 

Blowing out my mind, 

Just like a star across my sky, 

Just like an angel off the page, 

You have appeared to my life, 

Feel like I'll never be the same, 

Just like a song in my heart, 

Just like oil on my hands

Once human beings were spherical creatures with two faces, four arms
and four legs each. They could walk, like modern humans, or roll
themselves along the ground like balls. Some were male, some female,
and some were a mixture of male and female.

But they become too ambitious and threatened the gods, who decided to
weaken them by cutting them in half, making humans as we know them
today. All the halves went around searching for each other and clung to
their lost half when they found it.

It is the same, with humans today: When someone meets their other half
they are overwhelmed by the affection, warmth and love they feel. The
reason is that we want to become what we were originally: whole beings.
The name we give to desire and pursuit of wholeness is Love. Love
guides us towards our other halves and holds out the assurance that he
will restore us to our original nature, healed, and blessed with
perfect happiness.